A Problem of Time
A philosophical, cultural and practical approach to the dimensionality of time.
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“This is how they get us, Hector. They convince us that there is no future. There's only an eternal now... and the best we can do is survive until dawn and then do it all again. That's no way to live.”
— Isaac the Forgemaster
There is a particular memory that constantly appears in my thoughts ever since I became aware of its implications. It was late August. We were at the beach enjoying our last swim. We knew it was the end and we felt it everywhere; in the scent of the wind, the dimmed luminescence of the Sun hinting at the return of autumn, her black velvet hair laying wet on her shoulders, a sorrowful gaze before a kiss on salted lips. Such things would be quite a normal affair under simpler circumstances. But it was the end of yet another summer; and what a summer it was. It could best be described as one long memory, one that reminded us of our childhood years of carefree enjoyment. Back when midday lasted forever, grandparents didn't grow old, swimming never stopped, and love dictated all.
The temptation to endlessly ruminate over such things is immensely strong. A vain attempt, perhaps, at reliving the good old days, even for a moment, even if only in a dream. The sweet memory of the past draws us near and we happily indulge. In a similar manner, we get stuck in either the present or the future. In the first case, the past becomes a faint dream and the future a far away land. Hedonism ensues as all that matters is the eternal now. In the second case, single-mindedly living in the future gives birth to an obsessive and unquenchable thirst. All that matters is the never ending struggle, the toil that will one day bring peace and security. This is all an illusion, a mirage that lures us like a mouse in a trap. A rewarding mirage in many cases, but no less destructive.
The separation of time into three parts and the intentional focus of the human mind to one at a time serves no purpose other than to solidify the totality of time. We easily become trapped in one dimension while ignoring the rest. Imagine a two-dimensional ant coming across a solid wall. Imagine its confusion when it must break its perception of space and climb upwards into that mysterious realm we call the third dimension. We are no different when it comes to time. Time, after all, is absolutely not a dimensionless quantity, albeit a temporal one. What separates us from the ant of course, and the rest of the lower natures, is consciousness. Unlike the ant, we remember. We remember and dream and lament and fall into temptation; we plunge head first into despair and nihilism, sometimes pridefully; we fall victims of an ill-defined present and manipulated by an infinite future; we can’t let go of the past any more than we can stop dreaming of a bright future. We are a perfect paradox.
Modernity has its own explanation. After reaching the correct conclusion that absolute time is in fact an illusion, it proceeds to introduce its own absolutes as if to substitute one mental prison for another. By taking away what was tormenting us for so long, it finds that the emergent vacuum must now somehow be filled. It introduces thus a political facet of time. History is now evil, man craves nothing but power, there are only victims and oppressors, satisfaction is the highest good, utopia should be the goal no matter the cost, morality is grey, death is unspeakable, words are violence, opinions are offenses, unconformity is dangerous, faith is superstition. Implicit in all of the above is the death of time, but not quite. Notice how hidden in every statement lurks one of the three time dimensions we previously talked about. The way this is done is crude and vulgar and over-simplified, but it serves its purpose. It makes the gullible feel like they have overcome the death of time and through this faux intellectuality have transcended into a plane of existence where they can see clearly what drives human behaviour. The truth is of course that all they have done is a perfect circle.
This is the outcome of a dying system's attempt at salvation. We find ourselves in the middle of an epic fever dream caused by the modern meaning crisis, and at the heart of it is our relationship with time. Sometimes we have very little of it, sometimes we think we have more than we actually do, sometimes we forget that we really have no time at all. But for the modern mind time is a repressed reality and being trapped in a perpetual war between past, present and future, we ignore the truth of it.
Past, present, future: must they always exist in a state of combat? What about integration? Have we fallen so deep into despair and hopelessness that gratefulness and humility is an act of rebellion in this modern age? Yes, I believe so. But we have the right of choice. We can strive for balance and peace.
Have you also learned that secret from the river; that there is no such thing as time? That the river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past nor the shadow of the future.
— Herman Hesse, Siddhartha
Many are the obstacles in this path, both internal and external. The inner voice will try to steer us off course while the outside world will try to pull us back in. When one decides to break free, those who worship their jailers betray their fear through resentment.
The Sweetness of the Past
What is the past? Why is it so attractive? From a technical perspective, the past is a series of events that exist prior to the point in time which we inhabit. Every second, every fraction of a second, the present is being transformed into the past. By the time I finish typing this sentence the act of writing it will have become a memory. By the time the reader finishes reading this sentence this too will have become a memory. It can cause one a headache if he thinks of it too much. Let’s zoom out a bit. A more fitting example is to consider this (or last) morning, which obviously exists in the past. You woke up, went about your business, met a few people, or not, and the morning gave its place to midday. If the morning was particularly pleasant then one can be excused if his mind lingers on it a bit more than usual. But when a bit becomes too much, when the memory is so strong that the lingering becomes melancholia, to the point of obsession, then the problems begin.
Everyone has experienced nostalgia at some point in their lives and can understand quite well the severity of its influence. At low intensities nostalgic feelings can be a refreshment and a cause of pleasant remembrance of the days past. However, it is all too easy to get lost in it. It is the nature of the present to feel less real than our memories. It has been argued by people way smarter than me that we are nothing but memories. Whatever the case may be, we all have a past, we all have seen better days and we all have memories we would like to revisit. Perhaps these memories trick us into believing they were perfect, and we may be conscious of that fact, but we don’t much care. We deeply wish to experience once again those warm Christmas nights, sitting by the fireplace, next to the colourfully decorated Christmas tree, to the smell of freshly baked cookies, and open up our presents. God knows how much I want to. It doesn’t matter whether I was crying the next day because my mother scolded me, or that I didn’t have the freedom to play video games whenever I wanted, or that I was heartbroken, or that I desperately wanted to become an adult. Time has a strange way of isolating the good from the bad.
The main problem lies in the reality of endings. There is a particular moment in time when we consciously realize that things actually come to an end. At the flick of a switch the dreadful reality of temporality rushes into the forefront of consciousness and our lives change forever. We can detect the approaching end everywhere and all at once; from the wrinkles in the faces of our loved ones to the changing of the seasons, from the rusting of metal to the whitening of hair. When one is highly susceptible to the intense effects of nostalgia and perceives the approaching end - of an era, a summer, a relationship, a life - for him past and present come into coexistence as the latter slowly fades away and the up to now obscure future completely dissolves in a cloud of indifference. All of a sudden, those memories which safely stayed in the past flood our hearts and we get the same feelings that once filled us with warmth and comfort. The sensation is sweeter than anything the present can provide. The promises of the future are so outrageous that we altogether reject its existence. Neither the present moment nor the prospect of a bright future is as attractive as the nostalgia of a fond memory. Rejecting reality in such a manner is unreasonable precisely because reason has been effectively nullified; and who can be more allured than him who despises reality.
Enter our second problem. The physical and psychological hardship that we must endure going through life is no joke. Sometimes it all feels like too much. Have a job, pay rent, maintain a relationship, make money, provide for your family, be healthy, exercise, be politically active, have enough friends, express yourself, but not too much, read, write, learn to speak, stay sane. For some - I am one of them at times - all this is an impossibly heavy burden to carry. A sudden desire appears seemingly out of nowhere, that was always there in hiding, keeping quiet so as to not shatter the already fragile illusion of sanity we're still holding on to; the desire to give up all that you are and get lost in a void of nothingness. No anxiety, no fear, no despair; the blissful existence of emptiness; a total deletion of the self. It is an expanding black hole that allows for sinister alternatives to flourish in one's despairing soul.
The desire for the cessation of existence, masquerading as transcendence, is slyly introduced in this manner. Being obsessively attached to something other than reality is the first seed that this cosmic force plants in the psyche1. Perhaps there is a growing desire in today's world to stop living. Not in a self-harm kind of way, but a merciful deletion; an artificially induced blissfulness. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that hedonism - as I will discuss later - spreads as a way to numb the self from conceiving the harsh reality of suffering and the imminent death of all things.
Now a particularly cynical observer, one whose way of life does not resemble the one described above, might say: “You just have trouble letting go of your past. Just move on and think of it no further”. While this is not a completely bad piece of advice, it nevertheless makes light of the severity of the issue and ignores the personal element of despair. One of course has trouble letting go, having no trouble letting go is sheer insanity. In this sense it’s a miracle we even continue to live when the past beckons so sweetly. Some people don’t. They ruminate and daydream, sometimes creating false memories and pasts to compensate for having neither, until the only reality that matters is a non-existent one. Many live like this; their faces reflecting a dim but piercing sadness, almost as if they do not belong in this world any more. Like a window to their past, spectres walking among the living.
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things...
— Henry David Thoreau
This downward spiral is precisely what we must avoid. The concept of despair requires a long and arduous study but to say that giving up on life is not productive would be an understatement. Our cynical observer seems to not take into account that letting go is sometimes synonymous to giving up or becoming indifferent, effectively leaving the door open to despair and, well, cynicism. To let go must mean to move forward using what came before you as your guide letting it shine its light on the path ahead. Moving forward is an act of courage and faith, and faith is the most courageous act of all. The present moment will too become a thing of the past one day. Isn’t it better to make sure that it becomes a wonderful memory? Wouldn’t it be a blessing if in the distant future your past consists of thousands of small unforgettable moments that can provide some respite in times of crisis?
Let not your past derail your life. Use it as a guide in the present and create a future worth remembering. Maybe we really are nothing but memories, but when the time comes to fall asleep those memories will be our only worldly refuge.
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
— Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
The Hedonism of the Present
So far the 21st century has been a glorious example of how mankind can be lured into worshiping the present. Technology has advanced enough to adequately satisfy our deepest desires and on a whim we can rush to find novel ways to pump our brains with cheap dopamine. Social media, pornography, promiscuity, drugs, consumerism; all can be described in one word: hedonism. There is only an eternal now and all actions are justified if our purpose is to maximize pleasure. Humility is substituted with pride, quality with quantity, responsibility with desire, reason with emotion, frugality with opulence. We are constantly told that if we had more “stuff” then we wouldn't suffer, mentally or spiritually, and that material possessions are the precondition for meaning. If we break free from the chains of the past and all the dogmatic restrictions that so tormented past generations, only then will we achieve true freedom. Only then will we be able to express ourselves in our truth. Unbound, unrestricted, free. This experiment has failed spectacularly, and it is high time we considered our options.
Humanity’s massive movement towards the eradication of suffering has given rise to the most advanced, productive and healthy civilization in the history of the world. Despite this increase in well-being, the obsession with unrestricted pleasure and comfort has left a hole in our souls that is nearly impossible to fill. This is somewhat counter-intuitive since, in theory, giving people what they want should make them happy. This is not the case and never has been. The elevation of satisfaction as the highest possible value has made us more lonely and depressed, hooked and miserable. Desire is a fire that burns forever and torments all those who touch it. But why? Why can’t we live in a state of perpetual numbness? Why is comfort so undesirable to the soul?
An immediate answer to these questions is that comfort is itself an illusion, a drug that blinds us to the true nature of the world. We are like a young boy who desires nothing but candy and video games. He thinks that an infinite supply of both will bring everlasting joy. This is not what happens of course, as I’m sure many parents know. Even if the boy gets all that he thinks he wants, he still won't be happy. His desires are impossible to satiate as they keep mutating and expanding. He becomes addicted, he can’t function properly when deprived, and sooner or later, when the outside world comes knocking, he is unprepared at best, in severe physical and psychological danger at worst.
The obsession with the present robs us of our future. Great minds of the past were wise enough to detect the arrogance behind the mindless pursuit of pleasure and brave enough to condemn it as poisonous and self-destructive. I wonder what they would say about our world had they lived in our age.
The world says: “You have needs — satisfy them. You have as much right as the rich and the mighty. Don't hesitate to satisfy your needs; indeed, expand your needs and demand more.” This is the worldly doctrine of today. And they believe that this is freedom. The result for the rich is isolation and suicide, for the poor, envy and murder.
— Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov
There is another reason for the failure of comfort to imbue life with meaning; it just doesn’t feel real. It is like a dream that the self rejects totally. One can absolutely live a quiet and peaceful life. But an easy life? A life where pleasure is abundant and anyone can partake in it? A life where the struggle for any kind of greatness is unnecessary and mediocrity is celebrated, where there are only prizes but no challenges? Something inside us rejects that. Reality hits us with the good old meaning crisis and calmly whispers: “See? You can’t cheat me.” Unmitigated pleasure, as it turns out, is not a particularly smart solution to the problem of suffering, and as though our total dependence on it was not enough, worldly pressure to conform comes to finish the job. Anyone who breaks away and attempts to heal himself is branded a weirdo, an outcast, old-fashioned and contemptible, pitiful, and in extreme cases dangerous. Try to preach about restraint instead of promiscuity and see where that gets you. Try to go without social media for a few weeks and see how alienating that feels. Going to the gym is now linked to extreme ideologies, motherhood is oppressive and English authors radicalize. All this is but the defensive mechanism of a mob that hopelessly tries to justify their hedonic lifestyle by excommunicating anyone who poses a threat to it. There is of course a threshold that when crossed such ridicule no longer bothers but rejuvenates, and soon one finds like-minded escapees. At the beginning however this doesn't seem like a price worth paying.
Alas, how painful it can be for a person to admit to such truths. Alas, how much more painful it is to break free from the chains of hedonism knowing what might ensue. There is cause for hope in the midst of this insanity. The prison of hedonism is made by us, sustained by us, and can be shattered by us. The way out is found both in the physical and the spiritual, but not the material. Meaning does not reside in materialism, it transcends it thereby exists outside of it.
Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).
— Jordan B. Peterson, 12 Rules for Life, Rule VII
I will end this section by sharing a real story. I was having dinner with a couple of friends not long ago. I more or less have an idea of their quirks and particularities so I decided to raise the topic of voluntary hardship, i.e. pursuing hard things when the world does not impose it on us. I should say that the baseline for what constitutes "hard" in most places of today's world is going to the gym 4 times a week, reading a book, or staying off social media for a while. Opinions were split. One of them said: “Hardship is obviously necessary for building a strong character. What is the point of wallowing in pleasure when you can build a better version of yourself? Hardship actualizes your potential”. I share this opinion wholeheartedly. The other responded by saying something far less profound but very simple and effective: “Hard things are by definition hard, and if the world does not impose them on me then I don't have to seek them out. They stress me, tire me, and cause anxiety. I would rather not”.
I am still to this day contemplating both their answers. While I totally agree with the former I can't help but understand the latter. How easy it is to be convinced that pursuing satisfaction is the optimal way of life. The sad reality is that one of these guys is better prepared for life's struggles; his mentality keeps him humbled, disciplined, and focusing not on making the present as easy as possible - a foolish endeavor altogether - but using every tool available to build a future with unshakeable foundations. In the end no amount of explaining can change one's mind. Being willing to get out there and accomplish hard things, overcome weakness, become the embodiment of strength through hardship, only then do we break free from the hypnotic trance of mindless pleasure seeking. Let the results speak for themselves, and perhaps you will find that there is joy in the struggle and peace in the silence.
The Promise of the Future
Time has lost its first aspect or layer; its unity. It has a different rhythm in every different place and passes here differently from there. The things of this world interweave dances made to different rhythms. If the world is upheld by the dancing Shiva, there must be ten thousand such dancing Shivas, like the dancing figures painted by Matisse.
— Carlo Rovelli, The Order of Time
The future, as most people understand it, is an unspecified series of events that haven't happened yet and will happen in a later time. Whether it is tomorrow, in a month or in 15 years, the future is inevitable and infinitely complex and unpredictable. This naturally raises the necessity for planning and preparation. A common response is accounting for everything that is of non-zero probability to occur and may cause dramatic effects down the line; an approach which usually comes with either an elaborate strategic planning of one's actions and careful weighing of potential mishaps, or the examination of past mistakes so as to not repeat them in fear of causing unwarranted suffering. Thus, today's actions are taken in service of an arbitrary situation in which an individual - or a society - may - or may not - find themselves in the future.
Similarly to the problem of nostalgia, dealing with the vastness of the future comes with its own challenges. Sometimes predicting that your current trajectory might inflict pain on you or the people around you is motivation enough to change. Quit that job, exercise more, lose weight, study harder, fix your daily habits, chase that dream, take the risk; these are all actions taken in the present in service of the future. The individual takes into account his present insufficiencies and envisions a future where his vices are substituted with virtues. This is a good integration because the future is now not arbitrarily defined but rather planned in sufficient detail and can be realized by accomplishing goals. The inherent uncertainty of the future is diminished and a clear path is formed. Anxiety is reduced as entropy decreases and the individual can deal with the problem of the future in a level-headed and psychologically healthy manner.
Goal-setting is key to redefining the new perceptive landscape that emerges when uncertainty reaches very high levels, i.e. when most of the familiar elements in our environment disappear. Otherwise basic goals become essential to our mental health and simple everyday actions that push us towards a higher future goal have huge long-term effect. Anxiety is decreasing as we steadily move towards the newly set goals that accurately reflect our new situation as they have the capacity to transform the unknown into the known, chaos into order.
What if this is not always the case? What if the individual chooses other paths to deal with the infinite potential of the future? What would these paths look like? Is there perhaps a negative aspect to the path already presented?
As far as I understand it there are mainly three possible roads when it comes to dealing with the future (neglecting for now its total rejection which can come either in the form of hedonism described earlier or melancholia and despair). One is the rational integration of past, present and the future by setting goals in the present to bring about a desirable future, all the while past experiences and knowledge aid the individual to properly implement those goals. The second path is when the first one is taken too far; joy and amusement in the present are suppressed as they are perceived to be obstacles in realizing the future. The typical cliche example is the workaholic dad who misses out on every special family occasion because he chases a promotion, a business deal or anything else deemed too important to ignore, that will allow him to keep or increase his salary and thus achieve a specific long-term goal, like going on a trip, buying a new house, car etc. The sacrifice? Time spent with the people he loves; he doesn't even have enough to kiss his kids goodnight. This is not a smart solution to the problem of the future. Missing out on some aspects of the present is inevitable - such is the nature of sacrifice - but it is desirable only when the sacrifice generates more than it requires. For example, if I sacrifice my sleep, my physical health and quality time with friends for a promotion which may or may not come in 2 years, then perhaps I need to review my priorities. On the other hand, if I quit partying, drinking, binge-eating and sleeping late in order to hit the gym, grow my business and be a good friend and spouse, then the fruits of this sacrifice will make my life worth living; it will even make the present more enjoyable. In the end it is all about the life you want to live now and in the future.
The two paths discussed above - despite the second one being more of a trap rather than a way out of the uncertain temporal landscape - rely on at least having a positive vision of the future; a vision based on which today's actions acquire meaning; a future of hope and improvement. However, only the first approach has the capacity to scale upwards. In humility, the well integrated, positively oriented individual can now look more broadly to the outside world and offer time and resources to make it better. In humility, he can engage in philanthropy, charity, missionary work, teaching and education, funding of selected institutions, become politically and culturally active, and many other actions aimed at making the world a better place. In humility, he has become a disciplined and trusted individual capable of shouldering part of the burden that inevitably characterizes the world.
There is however a third path. Talk of the future abounds in today's world; everyone seems to have a preconceived notion of what it should look like - or what it shouldn't - and what we as a society must do to bring about change. But what if there is no positive vision of the future? What if we don't aim to ameliorate the present in small incremental steps but instead focus on the undesirable aspects that permeate society in general? What if we pursue change at a scale larger than the individual? How does this manifest personally and socially? When a vision of the future does not take into account the wisdom of the past and does not recognize the massive improvements made throughout history, a deep desire for radical change stirs in the zeitgeist. This desire can deteriorate to utopianism. Everyone knows what's wrong in today's world; there is injustice, war, greed, inequality, death, oppression, slavery. In utopianism the purpose transcends mere improvement of one's situation; it becomes the salvation of the world from all evil and wickedness; a modern messiah complex. At the core of it is the identification of the perpetrators, the villains of history that are to blame for the current state of affairs. After all, modern man loves humanity but hates humans.
All actions in the present must therefore aid in the forming of a utopia. The specifics of this utopia are unknown even to the most stern proponents of this movement. What is parroted endlessly nowadays are keywords like “oppression”, “tyranny”, “racism”, “inequality”, etc. There are clearly issues to be resolved, reformed and deconstructed that range from politics and economics, to science, religion, philosophy and culture. A weird and incomprehensible mesh of postmodern ideas works to supplant outdated traditional values and introduce the world into a new way of life unburdened by rigidity and tyranny. Saying that the world is too unequal, for example, and thus needs to be more inclusive, points to nothing concrete. What are the steps towards eradicating such inequality? Does it involve free choice? Is discrimination applied to enforce equality (an absurd question in of itself)? Are we talking about equality of opportunity or equality of outcome? How can the solution be better than the problem if force is exercised? These questions and anything but trivial, yet without gratefulness and humility the world descends into madness and mass hysteria. Even the questioning of such a worldview now becomes dangerously suspicious.
The way to free ourselves from the temptation of modernity's raging tide of deconstruction and emasculation is humility. As new knowledge brings about the death of previously held ideas - a sometimes extremely painful predicament - it is only natural to wish to avoid it. In doing so we construct an internal inescapable prison whose impenetrable metal frame is formed by fear; fear for a future that does not yet exist. Thus, we must act in faith and discover purpose for the time we have left; to live in peace and humility, to attempt to improve and reconstruct rather than demolish and deconstruct.
The end is here, now, and all will be gone sooner or later no matter what we do. The trees bloom in the spring and wither in the autumn; the ocean's fragrant scent rejuvenates in the summer, embracing and full of life, and a dark grayish horizon, repulsive and lifeless, dominates as winter advances.
Everything that is of this world is temporary, and so are we.
Then the dust will return to the earth as it was, And the spirit will return to God who gave it. “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “All is vanity.”
— Ecclesiastes 12:7-8
Integration and Practicalities
Taking past, present and future simultaneously into consideration is no easy task. In theory we could face our past experiences with gratitude and love, use our time in the present productively to serve a higher purpose, and welcome the uncertainties of the future with grace and acceptance. But we can't control everything. We can only try to stay afloat. There is a non-constant force permeating all three dimensions of time whose apparent goal is to pull us apart and sink us into one of them. Today this force is stronger than ever. When life is void of struggles on the outside, it becomes unbearable on the inside. When most things can be achieved by the touch of a screen most things become trivial. Relentless optimization destroys essence.
It has become a ritual of mine to include some practical “things” or habits when I talk about unconformity and the stain of modernity. So here goes.
I. Discipline
Discipline can be our greatest ally when used in the proper context. It is a tool used in the present to serve us in the future.
Doing hard things comes at a price, but it also rewards. Like the smith hammering iron, so does hardship shape character. In the modern world you must seek it out lest you become susceptible to manipulation. Lift heavy things, rid yourself of excess stuff, avoid modern pleasures which come all too easy, read hard books, write, sing, play music, connect with nature; I could go on. It is truly astonishing how these things have become practically optional when just a few years ago were an integral part of everyday life. Now we can "get by" without doing any of these. Yet somehow all of us understand the meaning they can provide and the hole their absence leaves.
Knowing when to stop is equally essential and requires much discipline. Hustle culture is as poisonous of a lifestyle as the hedonic opposite. What is even the point of combating hedonism if it's substituted with an obsession to work? What this does is it replaces one evil for another. Doing hard things does not mean slaving away in front of a computer and missing out on the beauty of the world. Sometimes the hardest thing to do is stop and just be.
II. Goals
Goals offset uncertainty and reduce entropy. Like discipline, they are tools to be used in the present to serve us in the future.
Setting goals is harder than it sounds. If we are not setting proper goals then we are sailing the open sea with a broken compass. What is required is knowledge of the current situation and the desirable outcome. If the current situation finds me overweight and the desirable outcome is to lose weight, going to the gym 3 times a week and reducing my calorie intake are the most accurate goals I can set.
In more complicated situations a detailed analysis might be necessary. This is much better than inaction which bears the risk of exposure to high levels of uncertainty. In short, figure out who you are and who you wish to become, and make steps towards that. Is there really any other alternative?
III. Read, read, and read some more
Recently someone posted a note - I can't remember who unfortunately - saying that the average person reads roughly 10-12 books a year. If you are say 18 years old and get to live until you're 80, barring any fortunate or unfortunate circumstance, you will have read between 620-744 books in your entire lifetime. This is a drop in the ocean compared to the total number of books out there.
If you have the slightest interest in a random subject, start reading about it today. If you value classical literature, which you should, start reading today. If you value history, which you should, start reading today. If you value philosophy, which you should, start reading today. When tackling a specific area for the first time always start with the big names. The more you read the easier it gets to keep on reading. Audio-books are excellent when the subject is somewhat easily digestible. When it comes to philosophy a physical book is more practical, plus it is good to keep the most important books on a shelf next to your favourites.
There is no greater gift of the past than the knowledge it contains. Books are what keep us sane in this world. The authors of the past lived their particular lives and decided to record their experiences and share their thoughts and ideas with the world, across all time. We read good books not only for knowing the long lost world of the past, but for knowing ourselves.
IV. Family
I've never been one to shy away from pointing out the importance of monogamy and not giving in to promiscuity. The most beautiful fruit of this sacrifice is family.
My parents got divorced when I was just 4 months old. In early childhood, I lived with my mother and visited my father every two weeks. Next to our house live my grandparents who nurtured me growing up when my mother used to work until late. My grandmother is now 88 and my grandfather 94, they have two daughters, my mother and my aunt, who in turn have three kids, me and my two cousins. On my father's side things are similar but a bit more distant due to lack of frequent contact, though the past few years I am working to amend that. Whenever I visit I get to sit with my grandmother and exchange stories, always have a great time with my uncle, aunt and cousins, and a good debate will never go to waste when my father gets involved.
I always like to say that I have four parents and many siblings. We grew up together, all of us. We share memories of vacations, holidays, the good times, the bad, the mundane. When the day comes for me to visit home, I long for the whole gang to get together again, share stories and laugh at each other's crude jokes. Shocking my grandmother with our vulgarity is an especially entertaining pastime.
The point I'm trying to make is that all this came from four people, my grandparents on both sides. They chose marriage and family. What they gave us I can never repay and would trade for nothing.
V. Move in silence
In a world of noise and over-stimulation, silence is a goldmine of peace and truth. It is perhaps the most underrated antidote to the spiritual numbness hedonism.
Many wise men in the past have repeatedly stressed the importance of taking long walks in solitude. As one does that, reality comes into focus and the problems of the world diminish while the beauty of life is magnified. Movement provides the troubled self with a clear sign of progress; no matter what is happening in the outside world, we are still capable of moving forward. Doing so without distraction will entrench our own personal reality with the fundamental truths of the cosmos itself. The weather does not care about superficial troubles, nor do the trees, the sun or the rain2. They are timeless and eternal; they exist despite death, sickness and pain; and we can be like they are.
Just when our worldly problems seem to have no solution, a silent adventure, no matter how long or short, can bring about a transformative shift in perspective. As long as one remembers to move in silence the true meaning of existence will never be far out of reach. And remember, no one truly walks alone; He is always there to show you the way.
VI. Companionship
Loneliness is a drug. One can romanticize it endlessly in pleasure, but it is painfully slow in emasculating the individual. Whether it is the cause or the by-product of nihilism I cannot tell. Each one of us craves to be felt and understood, that is for certain. While we may not find it completely, we can still find the desire for it. Friends and family can love us in a selfless manner. They can be our companions in the journey ahead, just as we can be for them. Some people love us so much that they understand us just by the tone of our voice the moment we pick up the phone, the intensity of a hug, how much we ate for the day, or even by the rhythm of our breath when we sleep.
Such a connection is the antidote to loneliness. While happiness fluctuates, faithful companionship brings deep joy and peace knowing that we have valuable people close to us who can see through the fog and will not let us drown. How does one find them? By becoming like them for someone else.
If the evil-doing of men moves you to indignation and overwhelming distress, even to a desire for vengeance on the evil-doers, shun above all things that feeling. Go at once and seek suffering for yourself, as though you were yourself guilty of that wrong. Accept that suffering and bear it and your heart will find comfort, and you will understand that you too are guilty, for you might have been a light to the evil-doers, even as the one man sinless, and you were not a light to them. If you had been a light, you would have lightened the path for others too, and the evil-doer might perhaps have been saved by your light from his sin. And even though your light was shining, yet you see men were not saved by it, hold firm and doubt not the power of the heavenly light. Believe that if they were not saved, they will be saved hereafter. And if they are not saved hereafter, then their sons will be saved, for your light will not die even when you are dead. The righteous man departs, but his light remains.
— Fyodor Dostoevsky
For those of you who have read this far I want to express my sincerest thanks. This essay turned out way longer than initially planned and I expect it to be far from good. To me it looks more like thoughts and biases put on paper than any actual philosophical analysis. Perhaps you think differently. Do share your opinion in the comments. Engaging in open discussion is most transformative.
One thing you might have noticed in my writings is that I do not discuss faith at length. I imagine this will change soon because I have many things to say. What I do know is that one does not simply talk scripture without the proper understanding. I feel the responsibility is far too great. Thus I restrict myself in the sparse thoughts I share in the form of quotes or notes.
Thank you again for being here. I hope you gained something useful from this essay.
Writing is shaping up to be a very difficult activity, one I will never stop pursuing. Therefore, if you enjoy my work to the slightest and feel that you can afford it, please consider supporting me with a one-time donation or by upgrading your membership. Blessings.
The desire for bliss is a terrifying condition considering how mesmerizing and consuming it can be. Cosmic bliss is a problem that is deeply connected with cosmic horror, see “The City of the Singing Flame” by Clark Ashton Smith and “The Nameless City” by H.P. Lovecraft.
To borrow the lyrics from Blue Oyster Cult's “Don't Fear the Reaper”
Very accurate
A strong ponder on the nature of chronos and kairos. Memory, intellect and will as faculties healed, guided and transformed by hope, faith and love. Nostalgia, temptation, passion and metanoia. Grace and peace to you Amigo, onward through the fog, one day at a time.....